| Thursday, December 15th, 2005 |
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| Because I have problems. Problems I dont even know how to control. I need your help. I have been wanting to talk to you about it I just havent been sure how. Between spending money, going out, drinking, and getting high I can hide from reality. That is how. I tell myself that I dont want to do it but i cannot help it. I dont know why I am like this. I try not to be. But I am anyway. And I have no one to go to for help. I am afraid to talk to you. And I tried to stop but it like I am addicted to being an escapist. I guess that is the best term to use. Escapist. |
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| I wish I was clean... |
confused.| Tuesday, November 29th, 2005 |
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| The reason i havent fixed it yet...is because i am afraid to let everyone down...but now it is getting to far too quick and i dont know where to turn. |
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"Dutch Courage" Paranoia is hunting you and all these dirty looks They are right on cue You're full up to the brim with that 'he said she said' trash You exist behind your keyboard Then you're gone in a flash 10 bucks says you don't have it in you To conquer fear and quit believing what they tell you to You are careening shamelessly into oblivion You will live alone with your chemicals and gin I am utterly disgusted with the path you trek As inebriated as you can get off your latest pay check I am at a loss for words here I hate to break this to you but being a coward is not a legitimate career 10 bucks says you don't have it in you To conquer fear and quit believing what they tell you to You are careening shamelessly into oblivion You will live alone with your chemicals and gin We were born and raised the same way So what gives you the right to say (At least I'm not a liar) We were born and raised the same way So what gives you the right to say At least I'm not a liar At least I'm not a cheat At least I don't care what these god damn mindless people think of me 10 bucks says you don't have it in you To conquer fear and quit believing what they tell you to You are careening shamelessly into oblivion You will live alone with your chemicals and gin (We were born and raised the same way...) You will live alone with your chemicals and gin (We were born and raised the same way...) You will live alone with your chemicals and gin Change gin to vodka and you have my life right now. This is the closest i will be able to get ask for help but i need it. |
numb.| Sunday, November 27th, 2005 |
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| Is it a problem when I am searching for harder drugs to make my life feel better? Alcohol, and marijuana just doesnt do it for me anymore. I want something more. And I dont know how to get out of this life style. I am not surprised that i ended up like this though. It is my personality, i am a pisces after all. I am a true escapist. My life style is sick. Litterally. I know i realize i have problems. but i dont know how to get out of it. i guess that is the other reason i want something harder...maybe that would help people around me realize how far i have fallen? I dont know how to tell anyone anything. i never was good with that sort of thing. This is probably the closest to anything to tell someone how i feel. I dont even know how i feel. I couldnt even talk when i was in theapy. and to think i was orginally going to school to study psychology. i want to drop out in a way but i have ntohing else to do. in fact i dont want to be around but i dont want to die. this is fucked up i am fucked up. life is fucked up. and i hate it....but i love it. i guess i will leave early in the morning. i need to get my life sorted out. maybe i should find some sort of retreat thing to do over my winter break? Maybe if i was a coke addict or something that would work... |
scared.
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| something about Fondy is bad for me. It makes me not be stable in some ways. i dont know what it is. I have a feeling that is where my problems lie....perhaps it is because I dont know how to deal with things there...so i use drugs i drink i spend money i dont have...but what on earth makes Milwaukee okay for me? I dont know. i have way too many problems for my own good. |
| Thursday, November 24th, 2005 |
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| I don't care what you say...I am a real princess. So why can't you treat me like one? |
indifferent.| Tuesday, November 1st, 2005 |
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| I guess the hardest part is admiting that help is going to be needed. But I dont even know what part of my life needs help. I think I need to take time off of school, but I dont know how to tell my mom that....let alone what I would do with my life. I am scared. I need to learn how to take care of myself, because as of now, I have been taken care off through out my entire life. I couldnt survive alone, everything from where I live, what I drive, where I work, school, cell phone, all was basically given to me on a silver platter. Perhaps that is why I fell so hard, when I was thrown out of such a safe area I had nothing really to grab onto, so I found things that only have made my life fall harder and faster. I want to stop, but I dont know if I can, ,or how. The people around here are great, but they are not good for a support system, are they? I dont even know who I can tell that I want to get my life on track. I mean, do I tell my mom? "Hey mom, I basically have done everything that will disapoint you. I drink, I party, I have had sex, I have dipped into some 'soft drugs', oh and by the way I lie to you. So I am sorry, wanna help me even though I basically dont deserve to be given anything by you again." I think the reason I lie though, is because I am scared to hurt them and let the truth come out. Because as soon as the truth comes out, that is it...game over. I would probably leave school, probably be put in professional help. Yelled at by my parents. i really dont know. i need help... |
| Monday, September 27th, 2004 |
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It has been a long time, due insane, oui. I dont think i am very good at writing my feelings out anymore, but here is an update of my life. I started college, wow, like a month ago, sick. It has been insanely fun. I have made some of the coolest friends, and some back home really are put in perspective. I never realized how imature people were back home, i mean we all were in high school still. Now it is like wow, this is where i belong, i am finally where i am suppose to be. There are some really hot boys, some not so hot, some hot assholes, and some aww sweet cuties. I am having fun with all the parties. Actually i have found the party group, persay. I am in the party zone, woop woop. People i guess think i am a party girl...i am kinda. They ask me wher ethe parties are, wehre the alcohol is. It rocks. |
| Sunday, August 15th, 2004 |
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There was a time, not to long ago, where things didnt matter...in a good way. I did not care about anything and yet i cared about everything. My favorite part of me was how carefree i was i did not care what people thought of me, and they were drawn to this about me. It is one of my favorite qualities in people. However, i believe i lost that in a sense. I think a little more of what i am thought of and now i realize i do not like it. I need a moment or so to reflect and yet i do not want any time to reflect since i am going to move away so soon. So how fast can it take to get in touch with the person i was, the person i want to be again? Hopefully by writing this it will help. I home so. I need to be really really happy again. I never stopped smiling. It crushes me that i care in away. Why do i care? Why? I know i shouldnt. I mean, i become bitchy when i care. I never was bitchy before unless someone deserved it. I need to be fixed...I am broken. I dont like who i have become, because i am not having fun the way i used to. In a sense i have blamed it on the fact that i havent been partying like i did that the start of the summer but i know that really isnt it. I mean, i have had great fun when i havent partied. I am going to sleep for i am yawning and my eyes are getting tired. I hope i am able to fix what it wrong, whatever it is. I think i am lonely in a sense. I just want to be loved....tear. I dont know. I wish i did. I hate change it makes things hard. I mean i know i have changed my fashion sense is shifting i hate it i want my scrub style back i am going to go scrubis again. If people do not like it and if i dont get attenion fuck them. I dont want it if i dont get to be myself. I refuse to be the type of person who i never wanted to become. I will not fall to the place where i do what i am told, and do things just to make others happy. i like watching people give looks and have a spark wishing they could do what i do when i stand out. it is one of the best things ever. I will regain it. I must. I will be lost until i am proud and strong, and independent again. I will be full again. and happy. Good night. |
thoughtful.| Tuesday, August 10th, 2004 |
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It's hot. Not like hot out, just it is hot. okay maybe i am one of the few people the will understand what it is hot means right now, but i have had a long day. I know i havent updated in awhile, granted i am not having any followers on this thing, which i am cool with because i have this to vent for myself not to explain my life to others. But hey read on if you wish, i do not care...if i did it would be private i suppose. Anywayy...i am going to stop with that nonsense talk. Very lively and fun summer, ups and downs but yeah. more ups. I went to san fran erm two weeks ago, or something good times. Love it there. I have been spending like all my time with Erin, i swear i have never become best friends withs omeone as fast and wonderfully as her. Love it. I love it. Hmm. Went to state fair that was fun, love it there totally going again. I move to college in less then three weeks can not wait at all. i am happy. I really want to party right now, well actually i WANT to sleep but i am kinda wired. even though i am sleeeeeeeeeepy. Funny store. we like dyed my hair blonde tonight, it was hot, but my mom saw and flipped and made me dye it back, she was all "you are going in tomorrow blah blah blah blah" so we went back to erins and dyed it back to dark, i am happy it is my normally collor though. it is what it is suppose to be. indeed. i shall try to sleep now, you knowt he deal. |
recumbent.| Thursday, August 5th, 2004 |
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| It is odd when you speak to someone you havent spoken to in a long while. You are able to refelect in a sense, review, of how you both have changed. How much our lives have shifted from one direction to a completely new one. You start to wonder in a sense, were all the choices you made the correct ones? I mean are you happy with where you are standing today. I believe fully i am happy with my life right now. i may not be always the most happy person and may be annoyed with things that happen but my life is good and i am happy to be able to say that. |
| Saturday, July 24th, 2004 |
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 You're a Direct DivaNo need to tease... you still get what you want You're honest, straight forward, and agressive And so what if you scare meek guys away? You only want a man who can keep up with your spirit! Are You a Tease? More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva |
| Tuesday, July 20th, 2004 |
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 Your Sexual Personality: Tigress / TigerYou've got an energizer bunny, stop at nothing appetite for sex... you can't be tamed. And you don't mind devouring a lover or two if they can't keep up with you. You prefer to control in the bedroom, and you always get pleased the way you desire. Anyone who's with you for a night turns into a super lover, thanks to your lusty lessons. Your sexual power position is you on top. Total control baby! You are most compatible with other tigers / tigresses and adventurers / adventuresses. You need a lover who is ready for action! Get with a sensualist, and they'll slow you down with their boring foreplay dance. Get with a prince / princess, and they'll whine about your lack of cuddling skills. Kink things up Spanish Fly Liquid. A great little secret for putting your lover back in the mood. What's Your Sexual Personality? More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva  You Are Dominant!If you're giving out whippings, then this is no surprise to you But being dominant doesn't neccisarily mean you are a sadist You might just take the lead, call out positions, or decide when it's time for sex Bottom line: The bedroom is your domain, and anyone who gets with you knows it! Are You Dominant or Submissive? More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva  You are Party Girl Paris Hilton!Got blow? If not, you probably know someone who does. If you aren't there, the party hasn't started And after a few drinks, you're up for almost anything. You're so wild - you make Cleveland look like Cancun! Which Paris Hilton Are You? More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva  You Are a Drunken Kiss!You are an impulsive kisser - kiss first, think later And sometimes you end up suffering from a little kissing amnesia It's all good though… your little condition allows you to kiss freely Without headache or heartache the next morning What Type of Kiss Are You? More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva |
| Monday, July 19th, 2004 |
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Basics -Your gender: Girl -Single?: Yeah -If not, do you want to be?: no im not in the mood to be single anymore. -Birthdate: 3/7 -Your age: 17 -Your height: 5'9 -Eye color: brown, but i have a gold yellow in it. -Happy with it?: absolutely -Hair color: brown with red highlights...ruby red -Happy with it?: Yeah -Lefty/righty/ambidextrous: righty -Your living arrangement: Right now, at home with mom...but move off to college end of summer and then my mom is getting married so i will be with mom and stepdad by the lake. -Your family: Okay, could be better, it has been worse before so i am able to deal. -Have any pets?: i wish. -Whats your job?: The square waitress. -Piercings?: Two each ear and then left card. -Tattoos?: No...but i really want. -Addictions?: Nah, not really. -Do you speak another language?: I try, lmao. I know a little spanish for work with the cooks but a little chineese so yeah. Deep Thoughts About Life and You in it -Do you live in the moment?: um that depends, yeah i guess. -Do you consider yourself tolerant of others?: I try i really do. But there is a limit to me. -Do you have any secrets?: Everyone has secrets. -Do you hate yourself?: Not at the moment. I think i am alot to handle sometimes. -Do you like your handwriting?: I dont mind it. -Do you have any bad habits?: I am a brat. And sometimes...erm alot of the time vain and prideful. -What's your biggest fear?: i dont know. -Can you sing?: I can sing...i dont know about well. Are you a loner?: Not really, i always seem to have people around me. But i am in a way aloner. Just people are always around me. I dont mind being alone though. -Are you a daredevil?: i am in ways i gues. -If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?: Hm. I think i would live more in the moment and just do it. I guess i have changed and do that more now. I always hate my toes. -Do you think you are emotionally strong?: Yeah. It is rare to see me in a upset emotional mood. -Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life?: well yea but why worry you cant change it. -Do you think life has been good so far?: absolutely. -What do you like the most about your body?: my umm skin i love. I actually really like my body i would like to be in better shape again but yeah. -Are you confident?: I am pretty confident, i dont let things get to me. -What is the fictional character you are most like?: I dont know. Fictional umm, i swear i knew some but i forgot who. Do You... -Smoke?: smoke what? cigarette from time to time... it is bad i know and i dont smoke cigars. Other stuff i have, but not really a fan. -Do drugs?: I have done some, but it really isnt for me. -Read the newspaper?: No -Pray?: No -Go to church?: No -Talk to strangers who IM you?: yea. why not? they cant jump outta the monitor and kill me...can they? -Sleep with stuffed animals?: No, pillow girl. -Take walks in the rain?: yeah i guess so. -Talk to people even though you hate them?: I really dont hate anyone right now...okay i do at the sametime. I will but i wont pertend to be friends if i hate them. -Like to drive fast?: Do you even have to ask Would or Have You Ever? -Liked your voice?: Sure why not. -Hurt yourself?: I dont, i have though... i mean alot of people go through the stage it is hard to admit at first i guess. i am able to get random bruises and no idea from what though. -Been out of the country?: Yeah several times. -Eaten something that made other people sick?: Of course! -Been in love?: No...i dont get close enough to be in love, bad habbit i guess. -Done drugs?: Yeah i have -Gone skinny dipping?: Yeah -Had a medical emergency?: Yeah -Had surgery?: No -Ran away from home?: no -Played strip poker?: Poker no, other strip games yes. -Gotten beaten up?: not really -Beaten someone up?: Not really. -Slept outdoors?: yeah, who hasnt really? -Pulled an all nighter?: yes. on a number of occations -Talked on the phone all night?: Yeah. I used to all the time with Tyler. -Slept together with the opposite sex w/o actually having sex?: Yeah, several times. it is the best. -Slept all day?: I guess. -Killed someone?: no -Made out with a stranger?: Yeah. being drunk does odd things to you. -Thought you're going crazy?: its a constant thought in my head. -Kissed the same sex?: yes -Been betrayed?: Hasnt everyone? -Had a dream that came true?: maybe? i dont know -Broken the law?: Umm lets thing...duh. -Met a famous person?: yeah -Have you ever killed an animal by accident?: I don't think so, i sure hope not, poor animal. -On purpose?: no. -Told a secret you swore you wouldn't tell?: No. i am pretty good at that. -Stolen anything?: yes. -Been on radio/tv?: haha yeah. -Been in a mosh-pit?: In theory -Had a nervous breakdown?: I dont think so...i have come more then close before. -Bungee jumped?: Not yet but i will -Had a dream that kept coming back?: I guess. Beliefs -Belive in life on other planets?: It makes sense -Miracles?: I question them. -Astrology?: Not really but it is creepy when they are right. -Magic?: no -Ghosts?: Nah. -Luck?: Yeah i guess in a way. -Love at first sight?: not really, but it is something you have to go through to know if it is real. -Believe its possible to remain faithful forever?: I question it now a days. -Believe theres a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow?: no but that would rule. -Do you wish on stars?: i used to. Friends -Who's the one person that knows most about you?: I guess Sarah knows alot about me, so does Steph. -Your favourite inside joke?: I have so many i cant even decide. -Thing you're picked on most about?: Random things. -Who's your longest known friend?: Hm Kristy no question. -Newest?: well half of my friends. -Shyest?: hmm i dont know. -Funniest?: oh goodness, they all are funny. -Weirdest?: oh boy, thats a toughie. -Smartest?: what kind of smart are we talking about? school or people? casue i have some that are really smart in one and terrible at the other. and some in the middle. -Ditziest?: Lucy. -Friends you miss being close to the most?: Hm. I dont know, steph. -Last person you talked to online?: I would go with cale. -Who do you talk to most online?: I am never online. -Who are you on the phone with most?: Sarah. -Who's the best singer?: Well maria...only we arent really friends anymore. -Who's on your shit-list?: Lets not go there. -Who's your second family?: ive never really had a second family -Do you always feel understood?: God no, and who would want to be? -Who's the loudest friend?: Hm. Beth. -Do you trust others easily?: hmm i dont know depends on the person haha. -Who's house were you last at?: the millers. -Do your friends know you?: idk, ask them. -Friend that lives farthest away: Lucy Love and All That -Do you consider love a mistake?: how did you come up with that, thats a stupid question. -Turn-on?: personality, Oh sence of humor. And i am vain so looks right now. -Turn-off?: Not being completely honest...i dont know. I am pretty open. -If someone u had no interest in had interest in dating u how would u feel?: It is odd. I have been there. but i tend to ignore it. -Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them: No big deal in my mind. -Have u ever wished it was more socially acceptable 4 a girl 2 ask a guy out: No. When i am sober i am too damn shy -Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking?: Yeah. -What's the last present someone gave you?: money, i graduated. -Are you in love?: nope. -Do you consider your significant other hot?: I would need a significant other now wouldnt i. Who Was the Last Person... -That haunted you?: what? -You wanted to kill?: Hmm. The whores yesterday at the dells. ^_^ -That you laughed at?: Probably sarah and myself. -That laughed at you?: Sarah and me. -You went shopping with?: Um, Erin. -To ask you out?: There have been several random guys...who i dont even remember names. but I remember nick. I was kinda drunk so i dont know. -To brighten up your day?: Sarah -You saw a movie with?: Sarah. We saw chad yum. -You lost?: Sarah Right This Moment... -Are you going out?: with someone? or are you jsut asking if i have a life? becasue a life i have. but i just feel like chillin now. -What are you wearing right now?: My cargo and a white tank. -What are you worried about right now?: lots of things yet nothing. -What book are you reading?: Brugdorf blondes or whatever. And mag. -What's on your mousepad?: No mousepad laptop. -Are you bored?: im rather bored -Are you tired?:Not really. -Are you talking to anyone online?: Not on any messanger things. -Are you lonely or content?: at the moment? content. -Are you listening to music?: my radio online |
| Friday, June 25th, 2004 |
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| War then peace then some more war. Talk about an evil cycle! So update, erin was all i am sooo sorry man forgive me blah blah blah. And i was like okay cool, whatever. And then the other day she becomes mad at me again, evil man, simply eviiiiiiiiiiil. That is basically it. Oui. I dun feel liike going into it. mainly cause i need to go take some happy pills beffore i go to work and out for the night. later |
| Sunday, June 13th, 2004 |
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| Ugh. I got in a mini fight with Erin last night, makes me mad. According to RJ, her boy friend, i am using her for her guy friends. I quote. "No, you are just using me for my guy friends. I didnt even realize it until RJ pointed it out. Whenever we hang out you always want me to bring someone else" Makes me mad. Okay, you know, first and for most, i am sick and tired of always hanging out with my friends Ryan and Justin and company. SEcondly, how offten do we have a jolly ol time just the two of us? The entire bases of our alone time consists of coffee, and shopping, seriously. So i mean, i never even EVER have ditched her for her friends. I mean honestly,i am always around her. And besides the fact, how often have I been ditched for RJ? Ugh. |
annoyed.| Wednesday, June 9th, 2004 |
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| Sweet and sour that is how i would describe my life story, best way to describe me probably. I either have great moments or awful...i have had a few awful in the last few days. I got in an accident, not a big deal. I'm fine, and besides my airbags going off my car is fine. It was so scary, i just hit this insane curve, i dunno even what happened. My hand is a little swallown, and the air stuff i can still taste and feel in my lungs but i figure it isnt a big deal. I am so lucky,i mean, seriously it is insane how lucky i turned out to be. I just cant get over it. Wow. Lets hope i have a good next few days. |
| Monday, June 7th, 2004 |
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Oh my fucking god. What a last few days...weeks...what have you! I have had a wonderful weekend. Okay shall we review, I think we shall and we will. Wed was my last day of school, you get the idea. Thurs friday all fun relax. Blah blah blah Friday night I hung out with Erin, it was fun, we didnt really do much. Okay now to the fun part Sat. . I went out to eat for lunch with my brother whas in town just for the day. Hmm, And then out to dinner with my brother, my mom, stepday (to be) and uncle I went out Riversplash with Sarah, Richelle, Linda, Keven and Linda's boyfriend. Anyway, we met Mike and Charlie down there. By the time we found the drunk charlie adn drunk mike, Linda, Richelle, Keven, and Linda's boyfriend got some beers and left. I think they didnt like Charlie and Mike i dunno. Anyway, after a few beers, and a little stuff. Yay. WE met alot of cool people. Like so many cool people...okay i was kinda drunk by then so i dont really remember any of them. It was a fun night, and stuff...but i did end up making out with mike later that night...okay and they kinda were taking pictures i cant wait to see them. But you know the deal.. that is all. |
| Sunday, June 6th, 2004 |
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in the last 48 hours have you... 01. Cried: Hmm. For a small moment, after graduation. 02. Bought something: Gas, lunch at taco bell. 03. Gotten sick: Sinus allergy thing, but I don’t think that really counts 04. Sang: Mhm A little in the car 05. Eaten: That is a stupid question. I am eating right now! 06. Been kissed: Mhm. Made out just a little bit with mike when I was a little drunk 07. Felt stupid: Of course! 08. Wanted to tell someone you loved them, but didn't?: Cant say that is the case 09. Met someone new: I met a lot of new people! 10. Moved on: Moved on from what? 11. Talk to an ex: No 12. Missed an ex: No 13. Talked to someone you have a crush on: No 14. Had a serious talk: No. I had some drunk talks 15. Missed someone: I suppose 16. Hugged someone: lots-o-hugs 17. Fought with your grandpa: My grandpa is dead 18. Dreamed: Of course Social Life: 01. Best girl friend: I would say Sarah probably right now. 02. Best guy friend: Hmm. I dunno. Justin maybe? 03. Boyfriend/Girlfriend: No 04. If no, current dating partner: I can say the last make out partner was Mike 05. Pager: Huh? 06. Are you the center of attention or the wallflower: Center of attention. I love attention over all 07. What type of automobile do you drive: 1994 Toyota Camery 08. What type of automobile do you wish you drove: a jag 09. Would you rather be with friends or on a date: Depends on who it would be with friends and guy and all that. 10. Where is the best hangout: Pizza Shutle. Hmm. The Square! The ball. Peoples houses. Parks 11. Do you have a job: Mhm 12. Do you attend church: No 13. Do you like being around people: Pretty much yeah. Personal: 01. Who is your role model: I think it would be a mixture of people 02. What are some of your pet peeves: People who are afraid to be themselves, worried constantly about what others think, and wont just live and have fun. Who don’t use their blinker. Who don’t know 03. Have you ever liked someone you had no chance with: Who hasn’t? 04. Have you ever cried over the opposite sex: Not really. 05. Do you have a "type" of person you always go after: I dunno. I change my “type” from time to time. 06. Have you ever lied to your best friend(s): Yeah. 07. Ever wanted to get revenge on someone because they hurt you: Yeah of course. 08. Would you rather be dumper or dumped: the dumper 09. Rather have a relationship or hookup? Depends on the mood 10. Want someone you don't have right now: Umm. I don’t know… 11. Ever liked your best guy/girl friend: No 12. Do you want to get married: eventually, yes 13. Do you want kids: in the far future 14. Do you believe you know the person whom you will marry at this point in time: no clue 15. What is your favorite part of your physical appearance: I dunno I like a lot of my parts how snobbby does that sounds? I like my skin, my hair, eyes…I dunno 16. What is your favorite part of your emotional being: I am never afraid to be myself. 17. Are you happy with you: most of the time 18. Are you happy with your life: Yes 19. If you could change something in your life right now, what would it be: Hmm I dunno, I am pretty happy right now. [ Current Clothes ] Jeans and a t-shirt [ Current Mood ] Mellow [ Current Music ] Rock [ Current Taste ] Chicken [ Current Make-up ] None [ Current Hair ] Pony tail. [ Current Smell ] Chicken [ Current thing I ought to be doing] Cleaning my room [ Current Desktop Picture] Buffy and song lyrics [ Current Book you're reading ] Confessions of an ugly stepsister. [ Current CD in CD Player ] A mix [ Current DVD in player ] Coyote Ugly [ Current Refreshment ] mt dew but it is gone! [ Current Worry ] What am I going to do tonight |
| Tuesday, April 27th, 2004 |
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 Your Sexual Energy is Brown!Like the Earth itself, brown is the sexual color that ignites and inspires all the other colors to grow. Your lovers consider you a sexual muse - whether you know it or not. You are like a sexual Phoenix - inspiring and intense. In relationships, you tend to be the teacher - helping others to grow sexually. That's not to say you don't have incredible lovers... you just make them more incredible. Being with you is so good that you've had a few "Fatal Attraction" types stalk you! You've never had a problem attracting people to you - even though you wonder why. You find your lovers in the strangest places, especially when you aren't even looking. Sometimes you have very temporary relationships, ended quickly as you outgrow one another. If you'd like to spice up your already active sex life, try focusing on yourself for a change. Make yourself the star, and find yourself a sexual teacher. It will be incredible to be the one learning for once! Gwenyth Paltrow and Ani Difranco all have sexual energy similar to yours. The best lovers for brown (if you can slow down enough to pick one) are Mother Earth's natural colors of green, yellow and blue. Beware of red: hot flames with nothing to burn mean an explosive, empty relationship. What Color is Your Sexual Energy? More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva |
| Monday, April 19th, 2004 |
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| OUI! STuff has been happening, mon....and I am too damn sleepy...or lazy...or both to type all about it. |
| Sunday, April 11th, 2004 |
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 CRAZY ONE. You need crazy partners. You dont mind if he/she takes alc or drugs or smokes he is not allowed to be boring. Open-Minded for everything our partner should spent much time with you. Your partner shall be spontaneous and love danger. It is not that important if she/he is rich or if he/she cuts his nails she/he must follow you .You take the domination over the relationship, you decide most of the times where to go. If the sex is not good (any more)you quit the relationship For you it is better to leave than to see your love restrained. PLEASE VOTE, I want to know what you think about my quiz, I worked hard on it.You can always message me or tell me how I can improve that quiz. Ill sure write back. ~THE big LOVE TEST!! What do you need? With PICS! For girls and boys!~ brought to you by Quizilla  Your Secret Fetish Is Exhibitionism!Sex for you is an adventure ... one which you want the whole world to see. Closed curtains and dark rooms don't do it for you. You rather be getting it on in a public bathroom, park, or club. Just don't let your love juices fly and hit someone in the eye. What's *Your* Secret Fetish? Click Here to Find Out! More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva |
| Friday, April 9th, 2004 |
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| Why do i even bother. I lied. I thought I could deal with catlin but i cant. For god sake, what more aam i suppose to do? I mean serioiusly. I am done. This is it. I am done with people, i tried so hard to be nice with her, and shit, i mean i do so much not to try to annoy her, and yet she presists in acting bitchy. If she hates me so fucking much why on earth does she even try to act nice to me. I just hate it. I know i am nosey, but i am bored. I read in the journal of hers that said "and then we went to B.Square (where i work) where Jessie joined us (wahoo sarcasm".....for god sake, what am i suppose to do? First...you came into where I work, where i would be getting off early...where you know people came to see me. If you hate me so much why come with? WHY on earth come over to my house? MY FUCKING HOUSE. If you hate me, dont come over, I dont give a shit anymore. Next time I have people over, she aint coming, i dont like her, I dont like fat fucking whining ugly girls. I am better then that. UIGHDsifaeljfdklsa;fdsja I give up |
| Thursday, April 8th, 2004 |
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Orange means caution on the highway--think of construction signs and those plastic orange cones--but drivers with orange auras aren't likely to heed those warnings. That's because oranges (auras, not the fruit!) are the daredevils of the world. They love to take risks and crave the adrenaline rush they get from doing so. Extreme sports enthusiasts and adventurers alike are probably surrounded by an orange aura. They live to push themselves beyond their physical limits and are often great strategists, planning how next to test their survival skills. Sound familiar? If you find courage in the face of danger (and are even thrilled by it), you may have an orange aura. Oranges are the thrill-seekers and daredevils of the aura spectrum. They love the challenge and excitement of physical danger. They love to challenge their environment and go beyond any accepted physical limits. Oranges put their lives on the line just to feel alive; the stakes must actually be life and death for Oranges to feel a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction. They love the adrenaline rush of excitement in the face of danger. For Oranges , thrills, cunning skill, and excitement are the essentials in life. Everything else is just passive existence. Evil Knievel and actor/stuntman Jackie Chan are well-known examples of Orange auras. To learn more about Oranges career choices and temperament, have a look at Life Colors. ©2003 Pamala Oslie |
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How Stereotypical You Are... brought to you by BZOINK! |
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| Monday, April 5th, 2004 |
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| Hmm. Bored, i think, actually i dunno if i am bored. You know, i havent updated this thing in awhile, reason...havent had alot going on. Watching tv, but you know what, nothing really has been going on, wahhhhhhhhh. That is basically it, i dont even have anything going on to talk abhout, so yeah i guesss this would be all. |
| Thursday, March 25th, 2004 |
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 You are normal. Lucky little you What Self-Mutilation Are You? brought to you by Quizilla |
| Sunday, March 21st, 2004 |
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| UGH! I Cant wait till Aug./Step...when i move out, when i live away from my mom...far far away. I cant stand her right now. Like okay, she doesnt even give me a chance, i dont even want to go back refelcting this moment, but i am mad. VERY mad. |
pissed off.| Wednesday, March 17th, 2004 |
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You crawl in bed, it's 3am You smell of wine and cigarettes A butterfly under the glass You are beautiful But you're not going anywhere We do the same thing every night I swear I've heard this song before A swimmer who has seen a shark I should really be more wary of the water You came, you saw, you conquered Everyone And I'm left here guessing What went wrong Yeah, I'm down But not out, and far from done Beware criminal A prism with an intellect You show your light selectivly You stole my glow, a seasoned thief The blacks of my eyes are turning into open wounds Today, I'll walk There's nothing here left for me but empty promises And the thought of all the things I'm never getting back You came, you saw, you conquered Everyone And I'm left here guessing What went wrong Yeah, I'm down But not out, and far from done Beware criminal Did you think I wouldn't notice? Did you really think I wouldn't care? Did you think I wouldn't notice? Did you really think I wouldn't care? You came, you saw, you conquered And I'm left here bleeding Oh, what went wrong? Yeah, I'm down But not out, and far from done |